I titled this blog An Education for two reasons. Firstly, I watched an incredible film this weekend titled An Education starring the remarkable Carey Mulligan. I have to be honest in telling you that prior to watching her performance here as Jenny, I couldn’t have listed another movie she’d been in or even recalled her face. That’s entirely unfair seeing how she had quite a career in 2009 with starring and supporting roles in Wall Street, Brothers, and Public Enemies, to name a few. So, for those of you who are not familiar with this brilliant actress, I encourage you to watch this film, in particular. Part of my job as an actress is to study and intimately know every kind of person, from the kind of person who grows up angry and abused to the kind of person who grows up happy and oblivious. All of my experiences, through film and real life, help me create authentic people in each of my roles and performances.
The second part of my education was a “schooling” for a couple of reasons. I won’t say it was an altogether failure because my learning curve has been an asset to me and allowed me to progress at an impressive rate. So…I did extra work last night. Let me preface this by saying that I don’t think I’m above extra work. Well, no, let me rephrase. I’m not above the benefits of watching a major production take place and learning the process. And since I prefer to keep things positive, I’ll only touch briefly on the fact that there is a strong possibility that many of the other 300 background actors might either be homeless or completely unaware of where they were and what they were doing. Now, I’ll take this opportunity to find a lesson in my experience! After arriving at check-in I was overwhelmed and frustrated. I contemplated bailing and faking sick. Then I thought, “Ok, you’re here. People are counting on you. Yes, they’re counting on hundreds of others, but you are no less important.” And then I decided that seeing Al Pacino and Adam Sandler work was worth the space invasion and egocentric conversations I kept overhearing (people LOVE to talk about all the other background jobs they’ve done). So, here I am, filing into the theater we were filming the scene in and my neighbor mistakes me for an actress in the movie. I realize he thinks I’m a supporting actress in the film and a surge of shock and appreciation wash over me. It takes me a moment to process, but then I grasp why this feels so extraordinary. It wasn’t because I dressed a particular way or acted a particular way. It was because I reflect an exact copy of how I feel about myself to the outside world. In this case, maybe that did mean I had a presence that gave the impression I was an established actress, but what I took away from this is two-fold. First, that what I believe to be true about myself will manifest itself in my external world –so exciting! And second, and just as important, that in doing this somewhat unpleasant background work I realized how much I want to be doing quality, moving, beautiful work. The people around me had no idea they affected me in this way. I am appreciative that I was given this opportunity because had I bailed out before ever getting on set, I wouldn’t have this reminder of why I’m working so hard to get full time jobs on projects that excite and financially support me!
6 DOWN. 84 TO GO.
Much Love,
Kirstin
www.KirstinWebb.com
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